Why are women threatened by other women

You focused on jealousy. Th8s has needed to be said and revaluated for a while now. I definitely related to the bullet on weight body type treatments.

Then still go up and dow with my. My confidence doesnt go away im still the same person inside as i was before. I have never really experienced part of a female group unless it has been a sporting activity. I was brought up in a small town in the South West of England and always felt that i did not belong in this toxic little town. I personally feel that I would find it over bearing to be part of a clicky group, who portray themselves as happy friends with each other.

I don't agree with some of the advice in this article. Women should not have to make changes to be accepted. They will want your company regardless of your size, what you choose to wear. I don't consider myself beautiful, or particularly intelligent, but I dress well, have worked hard and am comfortably off.

I find it very difficult to make friends of either gender. The men want to 'score' and the women want to punch me. I get the best treatment from gay women, for some reason, though I am not gay myself. This advice is surprising. Why on earth would a person be encouraged to dimish their light to fit it.

I don't agree with this article at all, but it further reinforces my decision to limit the amount of female friends I have. All my life i never got along with women, just because I was pretty, smart and multi-talented. I never bragged and preferred to stay behind the scenes I'm not changing who I am to make others comfortable.

Don't like me? There's the door. I prefer not to have ANY female friends offline but I currently have 2. That's it. I've never been interested in running with the pack.

If they don't like me who cares. I'm the real deal not a fake ass. When I'm at work i'm There to make money not friends. Skinny girl who got made fun of at the gym today by a fat girl for running on August 03, What is wrong with being confident and wearing things that make you feel and look good?

If you look good why should you have to hide it because someone else is insecure. I want to be around women who love and support others as they do themselves. Know your place! Encouraging women to dress down and dumb down! This article suggests women are incapable of bonding over strentgh and you have to weaken and lessen your self to have a group of insecure friends who basically hate tge real you.

I'm sorry, but this article lost me. A woman should never lower her standards to please a minority who are jealous. For example, saying that well dressed women should 'stick to the dress code', well I'm sorry if they have killer style. Many woman are happy to see other woman successful. Really don't agree with this article.

Then wear baggier clothing. This is written from a jealous and insecure persons perspective clearly". To any woman or young girl reading this article, please please remember this: don't EVER feel the need to dim your light so others feel brighter.

Best thing I have found is learning to be happy by myself or with the people who love me the way I am. Be yourself and find your own niche. Wow talk about an article you should only follow if you want to be a miserable people-pleaser. It's too easy to publish on the web The ten signs of threatened women are actually agreeable.

Love your article. But what about those women who are threatened but just felt sad about the reaction of people around them?

Is there any Biblical perspective you can offer on how to counter haters? Who wrote this? This is written from a jealous and insecure persons perspective clearly. Lol, is this a serious article? No way am I going to try to dress in clothes that make the insecure feel better or try to look less attractive because they believe they are. I don't dress for them , but for myself. I know I'm a good person with a good heart. Maybe they should try and be less shallow and not judge a book by it's cover.

Koda -- you and I are in the same club. Beautifully spoken, beautifully written. I focus on what God blessed me with, and avoid like the plague the non-supporters and downers. Shame on them for their meanness. I'm sad that their lives are so hollow and shallow that they have to focus on me -- instead of accentuating the positive in their own lives. I seek out like minded, strong and kind women as friends. Don't let the social vampires suck the life spirit out of you.

Onward and upward. I have mixed feelings about this article. You nail it by listing all the reasons why insecure women tend to turn on those more confident, successful and attractive women. But then you proceed to encourage the latter to change their stripes in order to fit it. This advice is as best ridiculous, at worst, harmful.

God created each and every person different. We were all blessed with different looks, gifts, talents, abilities, intellects, personalities, dispositions, etc. No two women are exactly the same by design and therefore it baffles me why instead of embracing their own unique set of attributes, some women choose to become fixated on what they don't have but another woman might have in abundance.

They covet the other person's natural, God-given attributes until it makes them bitter, mean and petty. As someone who has unmeaningfully been the "threatening woman" pretty much all of my life I say enough is enough. I am not going to dull myself down in order to be palatable to women who are too blinded by their own insecurities to recognise their own self worth.

I have done this many times and guess what? It doesn't make life rosier. I've still ended up gossiped about, backstabbed, abandoned, sabotaged and humiliated by the very people claiming to be my best friends; my inner circle. Those hateful and hurtful women need self-acceptance, they don't need to be justified in their appalling actions by you changing yourself to fit in. As a Christian, I will continue to be loving, humble, compassionate, self-controlled and self-aware.

This is sinful and needs to stop immediately. Sadly, it can be just as common in the church as it is the workplace. Wearing baggies clothes to make a self-conscious woman feel satisfied is not being loving, it's being a doormat. It's disowning who you are, who you were created to be. It's acting out of fear and shame. I once went through a painful personal transformation to allow the insecure women at my church feel better themselves. I stopped dressing stylishly because of their backhanded compliments about me being fashionable.

I wore my hair back because my long, volumous waves were eye-catching and enviable to the women with straight, short locks. I changed career focus from media to ministry because I was made to feel spiritually inferior and shallow compared to my fellow church members who were "mission minded". I treated the opposite sex only as brothers to appease the aggressively husband-hunting women who found me a threat to their chances of finding a partner.

I over-accentuated my problems and made myself extremely small and vulnerable so that women wouldn't find me too successful and strong. I even hid my ethnicity and natural passion when opposing concerns within the church because I was afraid of being labelled as the "angry black woman" in a white dominated space.

To all you threatened women: take it to the altar and stop projecting your insecurities onto others. Know your worth. Stop competing when you are never going to be the same as someone else, no matter how hard you try. Discover what you do like about yourself and be confident in that. If you want to improve certain areas of your life you have the ability; don't make life miserable for others who have what you don't.

Don't pressure confident women into hating or changing themselves just to make yourself feel good and to put yourself above them. Nothing is more unattractive than a thirsty, miserable, attention-seeking, gossiping, condescending, insecure woman. Be yourself and let others be whoever they are. The only women I don't have issues with are my sister and my daughter. I have found women to be a major disappointment and I've reached the conclusion that 'the sisterhood' doesn't exist.

I absolutely refuse to shrink so that others can feel taller. You have written an article advising women to live without authenticity. They have to deny their beauty, intelligence, creativity, accomplishments etc so that others can feel better about themselves.

Your advice is misguided and if I were you, I would be questioning my motives. Wherever you go in life you will always encounter people who stand out from the crowd for a variety of reasons.

They might be funny and entertaining. Or they might be stylish dressers. Another might be a stunning beauty. Then you'll get one who can speak 5 languages and play the violin. But for some inexplicable reason, your advice to women who might be fortunate to possess qualities like these is to downplay their talents. To become grey mice and fade into the background so that they will be accepted. Why am I suddenly thinking of Cinderella and the ugly step sisters?

Honestly these threatened women need to grow up, I don't enable immaturity and scapegoating and yes there aren't many females I can be around. The mainstream zombie crowd does have a lack of intelligence, courage, self awareness, beauty and independence. Not my problem or fault. The bully here has been my own boss.

It's obvious to me that she is insecure, but that doesn't change the fact that her condescension, gaslighting, and high-schoolish behavior has become a huge stressor.

She is 45 and has never been married nor had children. Not that there is anything wrong with that, in and of itself, but I think she lacks the empathy and life experience that women her age normally possess. I'm only 32 and feel more emotionally developed than her.

I deal with this and I try to cater to these women and watch what I say and how I dress and be kind and they are still catty. Most of the time the more I try the worse they get. That is unhealthy and plain ridiculous. Now if you are arrogant, seductive, braggers etc. The passive aggressive behavior only became more sophisticated as I got older and entered the office world. A woman who experiences jealousy and unsheathes her claws is nothing more than a woman who needs to process her personal feelings toward herself and learn to love herself more.

They are not he women who need compassionate understanding but we are not responsible for fixing the issues of others or making them happy at our own expense. I may be optimistic and hopeful but, in this world, we need to be if we want to see great change. If you show cleavage, wear red lipstick and wear high heels just do it.

I already have had to deal with this and i let it go because it was family. Be yourself! What about yourself? You should be able to speak freely and not have to dumb yourself down for anyone.

I have a house a live on rent free, I drive a nice car and I can sometimes buy nice things here and there. Why would I have to hide those things ever? Never will I ever change who I am because of others insecurities. Never again. Regardless we should never try to be something anyone else can accept. Toning it down? Dressing to please someone else.. I went to the Melbourne cup with a woman almost twice my age who I considered a very good friend. She told me my one shoulder, yes short black dress was trashy.

Oh there was a slit cut in the midriff as well. Meanwhile her dress was shorter and she never wore panties. I never judged her or told her what to wear or how to behave. I just sat there calm, very upset but I kept myself together. Her has formed an army of these women in town to hate me and I have no idea why.

Bc im skinnier and younger? So what? It sucks. The issue was them. Not you. I always put thought into my wardrobe and how appropriate it is. Not for the approval of other women though. They deserve it at this point.

I applaud the women I get jealous of. The women I think are better, I admire them. It sucks women can be so cruel to one another. I was bullied horrendously growing up for not looking pretty enough and now I get threatened with violence for becoming a somewhat attractive woman. I have always been treated like this. I feel bad they have insecurities but your grandmother is right if you got it flaunt it in good taste.

I appreciate women who look better than me. What a catty and petty thing to do to tell someone to be less of who they are when others have the problem! Maybe go back and rewrite how to tell the jealous ones to get over their insecurities and gain self confidence and chose or leave a man who doesn't respect them and not take their jealousies out on other women.

Pathetic article! I refuse to downplay my greatest assets to please another woman or man. I feel relieved after I read all those comments.

You are reading your last free article for this month. Subscribe for unlimited access. Create an account to read 2 more. But women are not at fault. Sexism has been long normalized in many spaces, and many women have been taught to internalize these beliefs. Sexism in the workplace, for example, may heighten competition among women to fight for positions or opportunities that are more readily available to men.

Here are a few actions you can take to break the cycle of female rivalry. Read more on Gender or related topics Managing yourself and Organizational culture.

Mikaela Kiner is a CEO, author, and executive coach. In , she founded Reverb, helping companies create healthy, inclusive culture. So what prevents Queen Bee behaviors? Identifying highly as a woman. Instead, a study found that policewomen who highly identified as women responded to gender discrimination with an increased desire to create more opportunities for other women.

There is plenty of evidence to show that women do indeed support one another. When women work with a higher percentage of women they experience lower levels of gender discrimination and harassment.

When women have female supervisors, they report receiving more family and organizational support than when they have male supervisors. And a preponderance of studies show that when more women are in management positions, the gender pay gap is smaller. So those Righteous Women are out there, and they are making it better for other women. Skip to content Site Navigation The Atlantic.

Popular Latest. The Atlantic Crossword. Sign In Subscribe. One recent study in the US argues the phenomenon does exist.

Prof Joyce Benenson, a psychologist based at Emmanuel College in the US, carried out an experiment in which volunteers were asked to split money with a fictitious same-sex partner. The leader could keep as much or as little money as he or she wanted. Prof Benenson found that the high status men were consistently more willing to reward their lower status colleagues than the high status women.

She says the findings are indicative of queen bee behaviour and that "women have a really hard time competing with other women". Prof Benenson puts it down to evolution, saying women are not used to forming tight same-sex groups in the way that men are. This goes back to a time, she says, when females had to compete for mates and for resources for their children. Prof Benenson acknowledges that her research has been controversial.

When asked about the reaction from the academic community, she says: "Completely negative. I would like women to do better. While Prof Benenson believes women have evolved to behave in certain ways, other academics argue that queen bee behaviour - where it does exist - is actually a product of discrimination perpetuated by men.

Naomi Ellemers, a professor from Utrecht University in the Netherlands, has been researching gender inequality in the workplace for 20 years. She says queen bee syndrome is an unhelpful label because the term suggests women are the problem. Prof Ellemers says queen bee behaviour is a response to sexism, where some women try to distance themselves from other women. In , Prof Ellemers and her colleagues carried out a study asking Dutch policewomen to recall specific experiences of being discriminated against.